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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22906327">come now deconstruct my grief</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/charleybradburies/pseuds/charleybradburies'>charleybradburies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Geraskier Week 2020 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adopted Children, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon Ships It, Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Family Feels, Gen, Geraskier Week, Good Parent Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier | Dandelion Has Feelings, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Parent-Child Relationship, Post-Canon, Professors, Realization, Secret Identity, University, Winter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:55:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,724</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22906327</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/charleybradburies/pseuds/charleybradburies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(<i>"Don't fucking tell me what to think"</i>)</p><p>They're welcomed in as people needing shelter, and given empty professor's chambers, and after Geralt starts and stokes the fire in the hearth and has Ciri take a bath, he accepts the offer of dinner that's been given - then, after the professor who'd welcomed them has named out his colleagues, Geralt says tensely that he can take his food in their rooms. </p><p>Geraskier Week: Day Five (Realization)<br/>Titles from The Amity Affliction's "Born to Lose."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon &amp; Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon &amp; Jaskier | Dandelion, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon &amp; Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia &amp; Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Geraskier Week 2020 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1634425</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>164</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>come now deconstruct my grief</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Please enjoy, kudos, and comment!</p><p>[Also, I know this part is very Ciri-focused, but it's to lead into what's to come.]</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ciri might have been a sheltered child, and she certainly doesn't know everything most adults know, let alone that Geralt knows, but she's clever enough to catch on to things. She has an intuition worth trusting, and she's learning how to better it, even how to use it to read people like Geralt, who can be horribly hard to read. </p><p>But she's softening him, she knows that - even if she didn't <i>see</i> it, which she does, he mentions it himself. (He's even let slip that she's not the first to do so, although he's tight-lipped about the details, except to say that she's his first and only surprise child.) So sometimes, he acts in a way that's familiar enough for her to read. </p><p>That's how she knows he doesn't <i>want</i> to take her to Oxenfurt. He was annoyed at having to take proper shelter anywhere, more than he seemed about the fact that they were being <i>hunted</i> by an <i>army</i> - but they <i>were</i> being hunted, and winter was setting in, and they were too far from Kaer Morhen to make it there in reasonable time without somehow happening upon Yennefer again, and he won't force Ciri to make the trek like he'd do if the only other he needed to consider was Roach. She almost gets something about his previous travel companion out of him when he talks about that - what would he have done when <i>they</i> were with him? - but his eyes take on their sad look, he tells her to eat her dinner, and that's that. </p><p>It's frustrating, to finally be with a person she's supposed to be with and have them be so out of touch with human interaction, but much of Geralt's attitude is a cover, an act she's drawing him away from just by needing him - and for a man who's said he hates being needed, he rises to the task of caring for her quickly and genuinely. She knows he's lived a long time, most of it probably without anyone returning any care, so she can wait for him to use his words to describe his experiences, especially when all the while he acts like caring, protective people do. He feeds her as sufficiently as possible even if he can't find food for both of them and he skips those meals, spends most of their coin on rooms at inns when they're close enough to stay in them, claims her as his daughter even when people raise their brows at the idea of a witcher with a child, and balks at leaving her alone anywhere or with anyone. So for a man who claims he doesn't know how to care, he proves himself wrong <i>quite</i> often. </p><p>Knowing this, Ciri tries to be as pleasant and easy a companion as she can be, and to pay attention to what will help them in the future, like wound care and Geralt's potion ingredients. She accepts taking on another appearance with Yennefer's glamours and suffers Geralt's constant guarding. She also pays attention to how he interacts with people, especially people who aren't her, in part to observe him with people and in part as a way to judge whether people are safe to trust. Even if he tends not to like human interaction, he does seem to have a good sense of people. Which, to be fair, is probably why he doesn't like people much. After having spent a couple months with him, Ciri generally trusts this judgment, though she tries not to be abrupt like Geralt can so often be. </p><p>It's at Oxenfurt that she calls this judgment under question. They're welcomed in as people needing shelter, and given empty professor's chambers, and after Geralt starts and stokes the fire in the hearth and has Ciri take a bath, he accepts the offer of dinner that's been given - then, after the professor who'd welcomed them has named out some colleagues, Geralt says tensely that he can take his food in their rooms. </p><p>It's the first time he's so much implied that Ciri should do anything but relieving herself on her own without her trying to coerce him, and the discomfort in his voice makes her feel a bit nauseous. If he had troubles with someone here, she can't imagine him trusting them with <i>her</i>, but while he doesn't show much surprise she doesn't think he would have decided to come to the university at all if he knew they were here and wanted not to interact with them.</p><p>But Ciri didn't recognize any of the names on the list, so she has no context - and neither does their guiding professor. </p><p>"Are you sure? We have very enjoyable meals together. Sometimes our artists even perform their music for us," Professor Aleksy says, with a strange, provocative tone, and Geralt stiffens more visibly.</p><p><i>There are songs about him,</i> Ciri remembers. <i>And he hates hearing them.</i> He called them soured memories. </p><p>"Fiona can go. She enjoys that sort of thing," Geralt responds, and easily enough, though his posture stays stiff. Ciri keeps in her gasp, knowing now that he can feel how her heart speeds up with the statement. The professor looks confused, but ultimately nods and agrees that food can be brought to the room, and offers to escort Fiona. She glances to Geralt, who gestures to the door with one hand, urging her on, and touches his hip with the other, cuing her to remember that she's got a dagger stashed in a dress pocket should she need it. </p><p>She pushes up on her toes and kisses his cheek in a farewell, and leaves with Professor Aleksy, torn between reveling in independence and being concerned about her guardian. She asks about the university, questions she'd never have needed to ask as a princess. He's excited to think she might study there, and while she's sure Geralt didn't intend that, there are only so many things to do when sheltered somewhere for the winter and she may as well. Either way, it gets focus away from Fiona and her father, and Ciri is pleased with that. </p><p>The hall is packed with people when they arrive, and Ciri makes herself run through what she's planned to tell them, an assortment of lies close enough to the truth not to seem suspicious. Professor Aleksy introduces her to some students, some of whom seem no older than her, on their way to the front of the hall where the professors and some other guests gather. She's the only child among them, and fully expects the fawning over her, but she's not expecting a familiar face. </p><p>Well, not truly familiar - just familiar enough that it makes her feel she's met the man before; he's in the corner with someone she thinks is a student when she sees him - slender and around Geralt's height, with a brown beard and a head of brown hair and one of his hands holding a lute. The feeling of familiarity catches her when she gets a glance of his profile, and in a small lull in conversation with a Professor Liliana she looks back at him, trying to place him. </p><p>Liliana follows her gaze with an excited interest.</p><p>"Ah! That's one of our performers, Professor Julian. As a bard he goes by Jaskier. He's even performed for queens and kings, isn't that spectacular?" </p><p><i>Queens and kings and princesses,</i> Ciri thinks, keeping Fiona's face steadier than she feels as she recognizes the name.</p><p>"He's even traveled with a witcher quite a bit, wrote many songs about those adventures. My favorites are his love songs, though. I imagine you'll get to hear some of them tonight."</p><p>"How exciting," Fiona coos, her voice every bit the regular girl she is, though Ciri thinks she might have realized who Geralt didn't want to see. She truly is convincing, too, and Professor Liliana turns herself around, swirling navy dress and all, and beckons to her colleague. </p><p>The man pauses the conversation with the younger person next to him and answers her gesture by coming towards them. She thinks she can see the moment he recognizes her, though her hair being darkened to a light brown has taken away the immediately notable hair she'd had. His lips turn up in a broad smile as his blue eyes widen, and he puts his free hand out to shake in introduction rather than breaking her story. Ciri grins, shaking his hand gladly as the other professor shares their names.</p><p>"Fiona, this is Professor Julian Pankratz. Julian, this is Fiona. She and her father Marek are sheltering with us as of earlier today." </p><p>"Pleasure to meet you, <i>Fiona</i>," he crows, and she squeezes his hand tighter. </p><p>"The pleasure is mine, Professor."</p><p>"Oh, please. Do call me Jaskier. Titles are so <i>formal</i>." He winks at her, as though to privately emphasize his knowledge of her origins. Professor Liliana giggles, not hearing those particular tones in his statement. </p><p>"Suppose I shouldn't tell you he's a viscount, too," she says teasingly, and he counters.</p><p>"Ah, ah - but that's my brother, darling! I've had some better luck than he." </p><p>Ciri laughs at that, more truly than she has in a while, even though it's not posed as a joke. In her most recent years she'd focused on surviving, and while Geralt's care and Yennefer's assistance meant her time with Geralt had made survival a less stressful matter than when she'd been traveling alone,  <i>Geralt</i> certainly wasn't jovial.</p><p>"Now, dear Fiona, you'll all be sitting down to eat soon. Do you have any songs you'd like to hear tonight?" he asks when her laugh has faded after a moment, and the thought is so considerate that she tears up a bit. </p><p>She opens her mouth, but the only songs she can think of are ones about Geralt, if only because they're the ones he's so intent on disliking and thus she's made to think about them more often. (Ciri thinks some of them are quite good, but knowing that they make him unhappy makes them more a matter of interest than enjoyment. Still, she doesn't feel it's right to ask for one.) </p><p>Jaskier furrows his brow, getting a clever look in his eyes.</p><p>"I bet you'd like...the Lion Cub of Cintra?"</p><p>Fiona can't help but smile. Yes, she'd like that quite a great deal.</p>
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